Space Pirate Anime Netflix
Turns out that Guardians of the Galaxy wasn’t the only seventies era sci-fi epic to get rebooted. In fact, this one beat it to the punch by about a year! For those of you unaware (like me before writing this review), Space Pirate Captain Harlock is a reboot of a seventies manga and anime about a moody pirate captain and his eclectic crew flying around in space. What sets this reboot apart from its original incarnations is a massive budget, as well as an ultra-realistic art style that contrasts with the more stylized look of the original. Does this reboot capture the glory of its forbearers for a new generation of viewers, or is it yet another unnecessary remake that misses the point of what made the original so great? Well, I probably won’t be able to answer that question because I don’t know much about the source material, but keep on reading anyway!
The movie begins with text exposition telling us the backstory. It turns out that humans went to outer space, bred to the point of consuming all the resources, and then all of them tried to go back to Earth. Huh. So am I supposed to root for the humans here? They don’t say it in the opening, but I’m going to guess that those planets humans began inhabiting weren’t without lifeforms when they got there. Anyway, a huge war broke out because EVERYONE wanted to relocate back onto Earth, but there isn’t enough room for all fifty BILLION of them. Instead a government is formed (out of the blue I guess) that comes up with the shitty idea of having NO ONE get back to Earth and to fuck off and die on their own crappy planet that they’ve ruined. Well gee; this movie is off to a great start. Humanity ate itself into oblivion, and no one has a clue on how to stop their slow inevitable extinction. We get some more text narration, but while this is going on, we get SEPARATE AUDIO NARRATION!! What!? The text is telling us about an immortal pirate, while the narrator is waxing philosophically about the duality of human nature. After that, we cut to a bar where a bunch of apocalypse stereotypes are drinking. Guys with beards, guys wearing random hats, everyone looks grimy, etc.
So while the members of this space town are drinking their sorrows away, a space ship flies overhead, and the prettiest one (which means he will be the main character) along with a few of the other people in the bar run out to see what’s up. We cut to the group climbing a fucking mountain bare handed trying to get to the spaceship that landed up there.
Albator, Corsaire De L'espace [combo Blu Ray 3d + Blu Ray 2d]: Amazon.de: Dvd & Blu Ray
The lady’s narration picks back up and I think she’s trying to tell us that humanities greatest enemy is… ITSELF!!! BUM BUM BUM!!!!! They eventually make it to the top, and find that the ship is populated by big daddy looking knights who are fucking assholes.
They say they can only take one person with them, and ask them “why do we sail?” It’s obviously a trick question, but everyone who gets it wrong gets thrown off the god damn cliff to their death.
The cute one gets the right answer (“FOR FREEDOM!!!”) and gets recruited by the pirate dicks. One of them turns out to be a woman (who looks a lot like Samus) and she’s assigned to taking care of the newbie, which means she’ll become the love interest.
The 30 Best Anime On Netflix: February 2024
“I’m gonna be hostile to you for the next few days, but I’ll soon warm up to you and we’ll probably have sex.” “Um… cool?”
Turns out that this ship is that of the titular Captain Harlock, and the planet police (I guess) try to stop him from leaving. This doesn’t work out though because we’re only at the first action scene of the movie, and it would be pretty bad if our hero got killed right off the bat. The new guy (still doesn’t have a name) takes one of the turrets and proves that he can hold his own in a fight. After Harlock smashes his badass ship (skull and crossbones on the front) into the space police’s flagship, the pirates get in their battle suits and begin to commandeer their foe’s ship.
Newbie strays from the pack for some reason, and gets captured by one of the cops. Except he’s not! It turns out that Newbie is an undercover cop who’s there to take down Harlock, but will probably not follow through by the end of the movie. He gets some sort of eye implant that I guess allows him to send and receive info. How the hell did they plan this!? The guy who gives him the implant is another solider in a suit (he gets killed soon after, so he’s not an important character) and from what we saw earlier, the captain of the police ship didn’t even know Harlock was going to be in this neck of the woods. So either this one random dude in the ship set it up so that he would get everyone there killed in order to do this quick eye implant, or… actually I can’t think of how else this could have gone down.
Harlock: Space Pirate (2013)
“I had to get a lot of good men killed just to give you this implant!” “Why couldn’t you just give it to me BEFORE I joined the pirate ship?” … “SHUT UP!”
After the police ship is stripped of all valuables, we cut to a space senate meeting (or something) where Newbie’s commanding officer is assuring the leaders that he’s totally reliable. We learn that the space government is called The Legion (the cops were Legion troops), Newbie’s name is Logan, and that the commanding officer (Ezra) is Logan’s brother. Ezra’s in a wheelchair, and they also have a sister who isn’t too happy about her brother going undercover. I guess she saw The Departed.
Back on Harlock’s ship, Logan is getting a tour of it by the comic relief crewman where we learn that it’s almost invincible (repairs itself, fuels itself, etc) and that its version of Scotty is a space Elf with no pupils (I think).
Space Pirate Mito Auf Deutsch
After the tour, we get a shower scene with Samus (still don’t know her name) that’s… interesting. They skirt showing any nipple by mere centimeters, and at one point she jumps in the air and curls into a fetal position (still in midair). Okay…
Like all anime shower scenes, this has no bearing on anything else in the movie, because we cut right back to Logan who’s exploring the ship, presumably looking for evidence or weak points. He eventually circles back to the engine room where he sees Harlock doing… something. I think Logan’s about to shoot him when he gets spotted by the space elf (don’t know her name either) who gives him some cryptic messages about being prepared or something. After that, we cut to her and Harlock having dinner, where it seems that both of them are aware of the rat in their midst. They don’t say much of substance (such as why they’re allowing this kid to live), and we cut to the next ‘space’ day where the crew has a mission on a nearby planet. No one wants to do it, so Logan volunteers and heads for the planet’s surface with Samus. This mission they’re on doesn’t make any sense to me. Basically, Harlock wants to find a magic McGuffin called the Genesis Clock (insert Star Trek 2 joke here) that will… do something. At some point, it will allow them to go back to Earth. To find it, or use it, or something, he’s spent the last hundred years placing bombs on specific planets which I think he’s going to detonate all at once and it will… reset time.
“Once time is reset, we can go back to Earth!” “I don’t think time works that way outside of Superman movies. Besides that, aren’t we pirates? Shouldn’t we be boarding a ship or something?”
Space Pirate Captain Harlock
Anyway, the mission goes to hell when the… thingy they’re on (I think it’s the detonator) starts collapsing and sinking into a pit of corrosive gas. Logan valiantly kicks Samus in the chest to knock her to safety before allowing himself to be sacrificed for a woman he was planning to throw in jail at some point.
All is not lost for our valiant snitch though, because Harlock base jumps straight towards the lava pit in an attempt to save Logan. While Harlock is falling at terminal velocity, Logan has a flashback where we find out he was a botanists before he did something stupid and broke his brother’s legs. Logan, Ezra, and their sister (no name yet either. Why the fuck doesn’t anyone have a name in this?) are in his greenhouse, which I believe he inherited from their mother. However, the plants have started to die, which causes Logan to turn a wheel that says DO NOT FUCKING TURN, and the greenhouse explodes
“I had to get a lot of good men killed just to give you this implant!” “Why couldn’t you just give it to me BEFORE I joined the pirate ship?” … “SHUT UP!”
After the police ship is stripped of all valuables, we cut to a space senate meeting (or something) where Newbie’s commanding officer is assuring the leaders that he’s totally reliable. We learn that the space government is called The Legion (the cops were Legion troops), Newbie’s name is Logan, and that the commanding officer (Ezra) is Logan’s brother. Ezra’s in a wheelchair, and they also have a sister who isn’t too happy about her brother going undercover. I guess she saw The Departed.
Back on Harlock’s ship, Logan is getting a tour of it by the comic relief crewman where we learn that it’s almost invincible (repairs itself, fuels itself, etc) and that its version of Scotty is a space Elf with no pupils (I think).
Space Pirate Mito Auf Deutsch
After the tour, we get a shower scene with Samus (still don’t know her name) that’s… interesting. They skirt showing any nipple by mere centimeters, and at one point she jumps in the air and curls into a fetal position (still in midair). Okay…
Like all anime shower scenes, this has no bearing on anything else in the movie, because we cut right back to Logan who’s exploring the ship, presumably looking for evidence or weak points. He eventually circles back to the engine room where he sees Harlock doing… something. I think Logan’s about to shoot him when he gets spotted by the space elf (don’t know her name either) who gives him some cryptic messages about being prepared or something. After that, we cut to her and Harlock having dinner, where it seems that both of them are aware of the rat in their midst. They don’t say much of substance (such as why they’re allowing this kid to live), and we cut to the next ‘space’ day where the crew has a mission on a nearby planet. No one wants to do it, so Logan volunteers and heads for the planet’s surface with Samus. This mission they’re on doesn’t make any sense to me. Basically, Harlock wants to find a magic McGuffin called the Genesis Clock (insert Star Trek 2 joke here) that will… do something. At some point, it will allow them to go back to Earth. To find it, or use it, or something, he’s spent the last hundred years placing bombs on specific planets which I think he’s going to detonate all at once and it will… reset time.
“Once time is reset, we can go back to Earth!” “I don’t think time works that way outside of Superman movies. Besides that, aren’t we pirates? Shouldn’t we be boarding a ship or something?”
Space Pirate Captain Harlock
Anyway, the mission goes to hell when the… thingy they’re on (I think it’s the detonator) starts collapsing and sinking into a pit of corrosive gas. Logan valiantly kicks Samus in the chest to knock her to safety before allowing himself to be sacrificed for a woman he was planning to throw in jail at some point.
All is not lost for our valiant snitch though, because Harlock base jumps straight towards the lava pit in an attempt to save Logan. While Harlock is falling at terminal velocity, Logan has a flashback where we find out he was a botanists before he did something stupid and broke his brother’s legs. Logan, Ezra, and their sister (no name yet either. Why the fuck doesn’t anyone have a name in this?) are in his greenhouse, which I believe he inherited from their mother. However, the plants have started to die, which causes Logan to turn a wheel that says DO NOT FUCKING TURN, and the greenhouse explodes
Posting Komentar untuk "Space Pirate Anime Netflix"